Not this Year
by MoonlightPath666
Summary: songfic to Not this year by Aly & AJ. It's about ginny being depressed during Christmas in deathly hallows and Fred and George go and try to cheer her up.Kind of a nice sister/brother moment. I always listen to this song during the holidays.


**_I do not own lyrics or characters_**

_I always listen to this song during the christmas seasons for some reason i always get sad during this time. Anyways i think this would be a really good song for ginny's __christmas during the __deathly hallows._

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**This Christmas card is contrived**  
**A mannequin looks more alive**  
**Haven't meant a word I've written here**  
**The page is full not one thing sincere**

I got a Christmas card from Neville this morning, I didn't even bothered reading it. He just sent it so that I would know he's okay, the words written there are completely meaningless. I'm in my room at the Burrow feeling completely useless and miserable. Mom's doing her best to pretend like everything's okay, but it's not. It's Christmas time but nothing was the same has last year. Harry, Ron, and Hermione are gone. I have no idea if they're safe, if they need help, I don't even know if they're alive. Everything is so wrong now. It feels like Christmas should be canceled.

**I can't, I can't**  
**I can't, I can't take it**  
**This is the time to smile,**  
**I can't fake it**  
**Please allow me the chance now**  
**To break it down**

Hogwarts isn't really Hogwarts anymore. It has been taken over by death eaters, Snape is the bloody headmaster!Students are being tortured even the poor first years. Luna, Neville and I got the D.A. back together we're trying our hardest to protect the students but it's hard. I can hear some of my friends crying themselves to sleep at night, and it breaks my heart. Sometimes I just want to curl up in a ball and let myself break down, but I can't do that to the D.A., they're counting on me.

**It's not snow, It's rain coming down**  
**And the lights are cool,**  
**But they burn out**  
** And I can't pull off the cheer**  
**Not this year**  
**Not this year**  
**Not this year**

And now Luna got taken by them on the train ride home, it's not fair. She didn't do anything bad, just because they don't like what her father has been writing on the Quibbler. I feel so bad for her dad she's the only one he has and it's Christmas they should've been together, not happy, but at least together. He already lost his wife and now his daughter, it's just not right, I feel incredibly guilty, I feel like I should've of stopped it. I tried my best but they won. I'm too weak.

Another person I love is gone.

I keep wondering who else is going to get taken away from me.

**When I look into the mirror**  
**No happiness is present here**  
**Not supposed to whine,**  
**Not supposed to cry**  
**Try to hold it in, but not this time**

I know I should at least try to smile for my mom but I can't. I feel tears run down my face and I can't stop them, and I don't want to anymore. I hug my pillow tight and cover my face. I wonder if this will all be better one day, I really hope it does, because I can't handle another year of this, or I'll go mad.

**I can't, I can't**  
**I can't, I can't take it**  
**This is the time to smile,**  
**I can't fake it**  
**Please allow me the chance now**  
**To break it down**

Dad, mom, the twins, Charlie, Remus and Tonks are coming over soon but I just want to be alone I don't even think Fred and George will be able to cheer me up anyways. Bill is staying with Fleur at the shell cottage. He says because it's they're first Christmas together. I feel jealous that he can be with the person he loves and I can't. Tonks must be huge by now, she must be so happy that she's having a baby with the man she loves.

I've stopped crying now and look outside my window. It's snowing.

**It's not snow, It's rain coming down**  
**And the lights are cool,**  
**But they burn out**  
**And I can't pull off the cheer**  
**Not this year**  
**Not this year**  
**Not this year**

It's beautiful outside but all I can do is wonder were Harry is right now. Is he thinking of me to?  
Is he has miserable has I am?

Suddenly I jump, there's someone knocking at my door. I think it's mom, she's probably going to make me help downstairs for our "guests" but then someone open the door.

"Gin Gin aren't you going to come say hello to your favorite brothers?" I sigh. It's the twins. Great, now they're going to try and cheer me up and they will most likely annoy me instead. Just like when they tried to cheer me up in my first year, which did not help at all.

**Don't know, don't know**  
**If you can hear me**  
**I will, I will**  
**Speak louder for you**

"Get out" I said trying to push them out the door, but of course they didn't move.

"I said Get Out" I spoke louder but they didn't budge.

"Mom said you've been moping around, she's worried about you" George said seriously.

I didn't even try to deny it, she's right. I have.

"So we're here to cheer you up" Fred said taking my silence has a confirmation.

"Well I don't want cheer up so go away" I said angrily. Why can't they understand that I just want to be alone?

'You have to come down sooner or later. You can't stay up here forever." George said.

**No more whispering**  
**Are you listening**  
**I am pleading**  
**I am pleading**

"I know." I whispered, wishing I could just stay here and keep crying.

"What's wrong?" They both asked at the same time. They were worried about me. At times like this I realize how much I love my brothers and how much they love me. I almost smiled, almost.

"Everything's wrong" I said quietly.

"They took Luna on the train and Hogwarts is just horrible, the students are getting hurt and I can't do anything to stop it. Everything's just a big mess." I said trying to hold back tears.

**I can't, I can't**  
**I can't, I can't take it**  
**This is the time to smile,**  
**I can't fake it**  
**Please allow me the chance now**  
**To break it down**

They both reached out and hugged me tightly.

"It'll be alright Gin, Luna's a strong one, she's probably teaching death eaters about nargles right now and this war won't last forever." Fred said gently and I was surprised that they were actually being serious.

"And they're safe Harry, Ron, and Hermione. You know they always get out of trouble and Hermione's the smartest witch I've ever known, she won't let anything happens to them."George added knowing that something else was bothering me.

**It's not snow, It's rain coming down**  
**And the lights are cool,**  
**But they burn out**  
**And I can't pull off the cheer**  
**Not this year**  
**Not this year**  
**Not this year**  
**I can't, I can't**

They let me go and I wiped my eyes, I must be such a pathetic sight, I thought to myself. "Thank you" I said when I calmed down enough.

"You're welcome "they said in union and smiled at me.

"Come down when you're ready, and don't make us come back here again or we'll drag you downstairs." said Fred teasingly. I gave him a strangled smile and with that they left the room and went downstairs.

I took a deep breath and braced myself to join the rest downstairs. I really should be with my family right now, I realize.

I wish Harry, Ron, Hermione, Luna and even that prat Percy was here right now. I miss them, it just isn't Christmas without them anymore, but I know I can't give up. There's a fight coming up, I can feel it, and we have to win no matter what, so I'll just keep doing the best I can and hope that it will all be alright in the end.

But for right now I won't pretend that everything is okay, I just can't, not this year.

**It's not snow, It's rain coming down**  
**And the lights are cool,**  
**But they burn out**  
**And I can't pull off the cheer**  
**Not this year**  
**Not this year**  
**Not this year**  
**Not this year**

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please review


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